if Love takes hold of me
by Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: To seal an alliance and end a war, the Princess of Hell, Meg, is married to Prince of Heaven, Michael. What nobody knows is that Meg has a history with Knight of Heaven, Castiel. The two try to deny their feelings but soon begin an affair that could jeopardize the fragile peace between their two kingdoms.


Warnings: This fic contains violence, strong sexual content, and dubious consent situations. The M rating is for a reason!

Title from a medieval love poem by Bernart de Ventadorn.

Thank you to Tanyareed for Betaing!

* * *

It was completely dark as Castiel moved silently moved through his house. The servants had long finished their daily work and gone to bed. From under the door of his mother's bedroom, he saw faint light and heard soft voices. They were still awake. Sitting down on the floor, he strained to listen to them.

"I don't like it," his mother, Naomi, said. "This isn't how it is supposed to be."

"He's the eldest, so it was bound to happen," his mother's lover, Metatron, replied.

"Still. Castiel a squire?"

Castiel's heart pounded harder at the news. He'd known a messenger had arrived earlier that day, but all of the adults had remained completely silent about it. That wouldn't have caught his notice if it were not for the fact that they'd been colder than normal towards him the rest of the day.

A squire? It was every noble son's dream to become a squire and eventually a knight. It was hard work, especially if they were placed with a nobleman who was unkind. In the end it was worth it, though. A squire, then a knight, and maybe, for a few lucky few, an Archangel.

"I know it is not what you want," Metatron said.

"No. It's not. Castiel is weak. He's meant to marry an equally weak woman and—" Naomi started, her voice firm.

"I know," Metatron reassured her.

"No. It cannot happen. We'll contact Joshua and let him know Castiel declines," Naomi said and then the light went out.

Castiel returned to his room and climbed into bed. His little brother, Samandriel, awoke, but Castiel didn't want to talk. Gently, he tucked the blankets tighter around Samandriel's small form, and the four-year-old fell back asleep.

Weak. The word replayed over and over in Castiel's brain. He had long known that he was not his mother's favorite. Heaven's parents were not that demonstrative as a whole, but Naomi was cooler than most. She made it clear that he was to be seen and stay out of the way. He'd done precisely that, focusing on his education and helping the nanny with his little brother after Samandriel had come along.

Still, a small part of him had hoped to at one point earn her approval. Now, he saw that she saw him as simply a tool. He knew by law the entire estate was his once he became an adult. He wasn't sure how Naomi's plans for him involved that, but he had a suspicion that they did.

Inside, something in Castiel snapped and he climbed out of the bed. Lighting a lantern, he changed his clothes, pulled a bag out of his trunk and packed his few clothes and personal items. Next, he hurried down to the kitchen and packed some food for traveling. It was dangerous for an adult to travel at night, so he pulled his cloak tight around him and settled next to the back door.

In the morning, he was awoken by Anael. Blinking awake, he hurriedly tried to think of an excuse. The servant took in his travel attire and his bag and sighed.

"Your mother will not be awake for a long while. I'll get Thaddeus to take you."

"You know?" he asked, standing up.

Anael handed him some bread and cold, leftover meat. "We all know, and we know your mother will not allow it. Please wait here."

He had suspected that Anael would trick him and wake him mother, but by the time he had finished his meal Anael returned with Thaddeus. Outside he saw that a horse and his own pony had been saddled and were ready to go.

"Thank you," Castiel told Anael, who simply nodded and returned inside.

Joshua's land was next to his, so the trip was relatively short. Still, Castiel kept glancing back, expecting to see guards chasing after him. It did not happen, and when he spotted Joshua's residence he felt relief.

Thaddeus left him at the door.

A servant led him into the kitchen where he was given warmed, watered-down wine to drink. A few minutes later, Joshua entered the kitchen and sat across from him.

"I uh—" Castiel began.

"Your mother doesn't know you're here, does she?" Joshua asked.

Castiel shook his head.

"You came here of your own will? You agree to become my squire until you are knighted?"

Castiel nodded.

"Very well."

Castiel was shown to his room, which he shared with Joshua's other squire, Dean. Later that day he met Joshua's wife, Billie.

That evening Naomi and Metatron arrived at Joshua's house to retrieve Castiel.

"—return him now, Joshua, or we will take this to the King. You know exactly how that will end, legal agreement or not," Castiel heard as he entered the room.

"Stop," Castiel said, his heart pounding. He felt sick to his stomach but shoved it down. "I already agreed to this."

"Castiel, stop this nonsense now," Naomi snapped, and he almost flinched but stopped himself in time. Squires didn't flinch. Knights didn't flinch.

"It's real, Mother. It's what I'm doing, and you cannot stop me. If you go to the king, I'll tell him I'm here by my...my choice."

"You don't know what you're doing," Metatron told him.

"It looks like your plan isn't going to work," Joshua replied.

They left and Castiel realized that he wasn't going to miss them at all. In fact, he didn't think of his family more than a handful of times over the years until he turned twenty-one and was knighted. Then he made sure to send his family a letter notifying them. They never replied back.

Nor did they reply when, five years later, he informed them that he had been chosen to become an Archangel, one of the Kingdom of Heaven's elite knights.

Then war broke out with the Kingdom of Hell.

o.O.o

Mairéad loved to hear the story of her birth. Well, not the exact details of her entering into the world. What she loved to hear was how her father, King Azazel, had been delighted to be told that he had a daughter. Apparently, when he had held her for the first time, he had gleefully called her "his prize."

Thus, growing up, Mairéad, or Meg as she preferred to be called, had a strong sense of self-worth.

That came crashing down when, at the age of five, Meg lost her mother, Lilith.

From that moment on Meg was raised by Rowena, the castle's wise woman and healer. When she was old enough, Meg demanded that Rowena teach her everything that Rowena knew. That was how Meg became Rowena's unofficial apprentice. Azazel tolerated Meg's education with fond patience, insisting that it just added to Meg's value.

Eager to please her father, Meg threw herself into her education and became quite adept at herb craft. The palace women soon started coming to her instead of going out to Rowena's cottage. Meg soaked up the praise and became even more confident.

That confidence was shattered when Meg was twenty.

"I cannot believe you used the last of it!" Rowena shouted.

Meg stood with her arms crossed refusing to back down. "Just get more. Lady Dagon needed—"

"I don't care what that bitch needed. I can't just get more. The flowers only bloom for a few days once a year!"

"I didn't know," Meg replied.

"Of course not. You study the spells and how to do things but you're too good for the actual deeper learning."

"I never said that!" Meg protested, her temper rising.

"You didn't need to It's plain with the way you strut around here. Your father's prize." Rowena spat.

"I am—" Meg protested, not knowing where this was coming from.

"And you're too stupid to understand what that means!"

"It means I'm his only daughter and he values me."

"Och! He values what's between your legs. That's what is the real prize."

"What are you talking about?" Meg asked, a shiver of dread running down her spine.

"Your maidenhead! He's going to marry you off to some lord or foreign prince to seal an alliance. Why do you think you're followed by guards everywhere? Why no man dares approach you? The only reason you get any peace here is I insist upon it and the king knows not to cross me."

Meg stared down at the worktable, not wanting to believe Rowena, but some part of her knowing the truth in the older woman's words.

"He's already started looking."

Without another word, Meg left Rowena's cottage. The minute she was back in the castle, sure enough, her normal guard, Abaddon, one of the elite Knights of Hell, became her escort. Once she was in her room, she dismissed her maids and went over to her altar. Kneeling, she began to pray to Lucifer, the god that the citizens of Hell worshiped. She prayed that there would be some way to escape her fate.

After that, she got up and began planning.

Then war broke out with the Kingdom of Heaven, and Meg's marriage became unimportant to everyone involved.

Except Meg.


End file.
